Tara on Tour

Tara is the female Buddha of compassion and wisdom. This is a webdiary of a journey inspired by Tara....

Name:
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Samye Ling


Tara on Tour

The Drupchen - which is a long prayer festival - finished today with a Guru Rinpoche empowerment. It's been a very good and inevitably rather intense few days: the energy during such an event is very powerful and it's rather like entering a completely different reality.

The teacher who has led this week's Drupchen has been flown over from Tibet: he is a highly respected Rinpoche, and certainly has an awesome presence. Everyday for a week, monks, nuns and laypeople have been chanting and reciting Guru Rinpoche prayers from 8 am until 5 pm.

Guru Rinpoche is regarded as the most important figures within Tibetan Buddhism: this is because he established Buddhism in Tibet and had to transform many obstacles and negativities in order to do so. This particular capacity to transform obstacles is why he is so important today. He predicted that this would be a "degenerative" time when there would be increasing darkness in the form of negativity, planetary instability and many forms of physical and mental sickness. Doing Guru Rinpoche practice brings a lot of very strong positive energy to the world and to the "mind" of our planetary consciousness.

On Tuesday, we received a very special blessing. Akong Rinpoche handed all of us in the temple a small relic of Guru Rinpoche. The story behind this was rather incredible. During the time of Guru Rinpoche's teaching many hundreds of years ago, many treasure texts (terma) were hidden, to be revealed at later times when they would be of great relevance by tertons (treasure revealers). Guru Rinpoche foresaw the need for genuine relics and hid instructions for multipyling existing relics. This involved mixing them with elixirs and pressing them into special moulds. 4 moulds were made, of different sizes, and the substances used to make the original ones also came from a variety of terma. Guru Rinpoche's hair, special pills, fragments of the Guru's brocade for example.

It was widely believed that these moulds had been lost during the Cultural Revolution, but this year - in a seemingly effortless way - one of them was handed to Akong Rinpoche. This gave Rinpoche strong motivation to organise a Guru Rinpoche Drupchen at Samye Ling and to bring great teachers over for this purpose. In particular one Tibetan seer had had a vision of Guru Rinpoche whilst on retreat, and had been told that this was now the time to place many consecrated images in various countries. These would help to restore the balance of beings and of their environment, helping to combat diseases of the body and mind. The person who was to carry out this work had a name that began with "A". Eventually Akong Rinpoche was made aware of this, and he has undertaken to do this work.

So the relics we were given are indeed very precious and we all hold a responsibility to remember the wish and activity of Guru Rinpoche - and to encourage the spread of such positive energy in any way we can. Particularly through the building and consecrating of Guru Rinpoche images.

I was personally very struck by this, in the light of this journey to place images of Tara in different countries - where her particular activity and blessing will be of benefit. The many obstacles I have been aware of over the last week have surfaced and dissolved in the light of all these blessings.

In particular, I was concerned that the ongoing bleeding coming from my uterus was an indication that travelling was not the thing to be doing at the moment. I had an interview with Rinpoche and he assured me that what I am doing is important and must be continued. That I need not worry about my "health". He blessed the remaining Tara statues I have, and the cards I am selling, and I left feeling as if Tara's "instruction" to do this work was very genuine indeed. Despite the faith, I do have doubts because I feel rather alone doing this work and when obstacles arise, they really make me question what I'm doing. This week's Drupchen and Rinpoche's blessing and encouragement have removed those doubts - and given me more strength and courage for the journey ahead.

He also told me that the total amount needed for the 21 Tara Temples in South Africa was £20 million !!!!!!!!!! No problem! It's all a question of being in the right place at the right time, and basically being a channel that directs the funds from the sources that are already out there to the building of the shrines in Africa. All I have to do is the Tara practice - in prayer and in the activity of this journey.

So - for all of you that read this, I pray that the blessing reaches you too and removes any obstacles to your own health, wealth, happiness and "mundane and spiritual" accomplishment. And that this continues to radiate out to all beings everywhere. Om ah hung bendza guru pema siddhi hung.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Heading South

Tara on Tour

This has been a hard week in some ways, and a happy one in others. I've been looking after Isaac, who's 13 and I've really enjoyed this time with him and even the unfamiliar responsibility of motherhood! I met Isaac when he was 4 and lived with him and his mother for a year on the Drum Estate in Edinburgh about 5 years ago. He is watching me write this, pulling faces and clearly paranoid that I am going to say something compromising.

Hello this is Isaac...Anna is a crazy lady..don't listen to her! Save yourself while you can!

Well, there we go. Such faith ...but he's probably right.

I have indeed felt a little crazy this week, rather wishing I hadn't embarked on
this journey since it's so big and I really don't like travelling!! However, I do believe in the journey and I hope I will grow into it as time goes on.

So I leave Edinburgh tomorrow and that's quite an emotional wrench. Parting company from dear friends, giving up the place that has been home for a few years now really. It's always here to come back to, but that doesn't have much impact when the nature of any journey like this involves such a stepping out into the Unknown.

I'm heading down to Samye Ling tomorrow, for the last days of the Drupchen and for a meeting with Akong Rinpoche - whose project in South Africa I am fundraising for. A Drupchen is a very intense practice: prayers are done for 24 hours, over a period in this case of 7 days. It's the first time in the history of Samye Ling that such an event has taken place and it's said to be a very powerful practice for removing obstacles and negativity. Many teachers have been flown over from Sherap Ling in India to do this practice, and it will probably be quite a spectacle - lots of ritual, colourful clothing, music. This particular Drupchen focusses on Guru Rinpoche, who was responsible for introducing Buddhism to Tibet from India.

More later!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Third Tara


Tara on Tour

The Third Tara is "Tara protecting from floods". She protects from all water-related disasters and from the suffering and sickness arising from the negative aspect of desire. She's red in colour and holds a fire crystal in the lotus flower in her left hand.

I don't know whether this will be the case for each of the Taras, but there hss been a definite transition period between the second and third Taras. A period where the energy that built up around one dissolves to make way for the energy arising for the one that follows.

So we're in the "water element" and this has a very different feeling about it altogether. Whereas the earth element represented the stability and relative solidity (or not!) of the physical earth, the water element is much less fixed. It's fluid, malleable, adaptable; it's regarded as the "bearer of life", it transports and carries. It is strongly connected to emotions. Within the Buddhist understanding, the emotion of desire is the reason we are born in the human realm. It's the deep-rooted desire to exist, to be a particular "self", that produces the causes and conditions to manifest a human body.

So, in the quest for enlightenment - the liberation from misunderstanding - freeing ourselves from the negative aspects of desire must be seen as of central importance.

This is perhaps why renunciation is so often advocated and indeed demanded on any true commitment to a spiritual path. The mind is so gripped by habitual desire - which is a fundamental desire for happiness and pleasure - that it runs after all manner of things in the mistaken belief that Heaven, or at least relief from the craving, lies in the fulfilment of those desires. Most of us know from bitter experience that this just doesn't work. Renunciation is not a punishment, but rather a way to steer the mind towards what will truly satisfy desire and give rise to the peace of mind and joy that is enduring rather than fleeting.

True renunciation, however, is apparently rather different from renuncation externally imposed by an authority. The latter can often create problems: resentment, suppression, denial are all possible consequences of renouncing something in a superficial, premature or forced way. C.J.Jung, the Swiss psychoanalyst, believed that it was not possible to truly renounce anything until it had been fully embraced. In other words, you have to have made something a part of you, or at least have so thoroughly examined something that it has exhausted any potential to fascinate - and then renunciation comes quite naturally. Like an old skin falling away. No struggle. An effortless letting go.

Within the Vajrayana tradition, renunciation is a little more subtle than within some other traditions, where it underpins the way of life. A Theravadin monk or nun, for example, has renounced the worldly completely and lives an obviously simple, austere life where begging for alms is still commonplace. Within the Vajrayana, renunciation is very much a part of a monk or nun's commitments, but there is a strong emphasis on fully allowing and opening up to whatever arises within the mind - with a view to transforming, or seeing through, the content using the tools and practice of meditation. In this way, nothing need be rejected or pushed away - all experience can be brought to the spiritual path and be used to speed the process of realisation. So, desire is not a particular problem. Acting on desire might be, but desire itself is fine - it's there anyway so get to know its nature and work skillfully with it. And pray to channel the energy of desire into the ultimate desire for enlightenment!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Pluscarden Abbey

Tara on Tour

Spending a couple of days at Pluscarden Abbey outside Elgin wasn't obviously part of a Tara journey, and was more of a case of "well, I'm so close, I'd love to go back for a quick visit". Pluscarden Abbey is a Benedictine monastery, the most northerly in the world and not altogether typical: Benedictine monks usually wear black habits, but the Pluscarden community wear white. They are part of the Valliscauldian Order, which was originally founded in France as an attempt to bring more austerity and simplicity to life in a monastic community. As such, they are similar in some respects to the Cistercians and the Carthusians with their greater emphasis on silence, solitude and very strict discipline.

However, when I caught up with Fr Augustine whom I met several years ago now, he explained that the wearing of white had to do with the community's strong devotion to Our Lady. At a time when the Anglican Church was moving away from reverence to Mary, the then Anglican Order made the radical decision to convert to Catholicism and to continue its tradition of loving devotion to the Holy Mother.

This seemed to explain why I was so drawn to Pluscarden and why Our Lady at Pluscarden has such a prominent place in the liturgical and spiritual lives of the community.

I love the Divine Office and the very last office of the day, Compline, ends with the most beautiful prayer to Mary - called Salve Regina. At Pluscarden, the Office is still said not only in Latin, but the psalms are all prayed in Gregorian Chant. The whole experience is moving and very spiritual; the atmosphere in the chapel tangibly "holy". Just walking through the doors, there is a heavy silence that hangs in the air, saturated with peace and with the kind of presence that automatically quietens the mind, stops all attention from straying outside the purpose for which the chapel stands - prayer to God.

Bearing in mind that the second Tara also protects from the suffering and sicknesses arising from the negative emotion of pride, I realised that such an environment was the perfect place to reflect on the value of humility and the problems of pride. In fact, St Benedict himself stressed humility above almost all other qualities in the training of a monk. The chapter discussing the "twelve steps" of humility in The Rule of St Benedict (which every Benedictine monastery follows and every monk or nun studies)is one of the longest and most detailed.

It's a hard one. It stresses, for example, that the Abbot of a monastery must be regarded as God's direct representative - and that obedience to his/her instruction is essential and absolute. Such obedience mirrors the ultimate obedience to God that is the perfection of spiritual life. Knowing how difficult I personally find it to be told what to do, and in particular how to do it (unless I've asked), I was reminded of the stubborn pride and ego that is a strong part of my own nature.

To surrender the individual will to God's Will is the path of a monastic, and it is also the path of any spiritual aspirant. Reflecting on this, I spent a sleepless second night in a state of acute discomfort and anxiety - dreading Mass the following morning and dreading the commitments I'd made for the rest of that day,all of which involved some level of surrender to the spiritual. I was also in a lot of pain with my monthly cycle which has changed in character over the past few months - and seems to be pushing me into a kind of surrender in its own way. My ego was in revolt and was literally clinging on for dear life. I couldn't get a sense of what it was clinging to, but since very muscle in my body was rigid, fear and clinging were definitely going on! I've experienced this before many times and always when something much more powerful than me (God, Spirit, an empowerment, whatever) is inviting me in. I KNOW it's a blessing and gives rise to greater joy, peace and light - but the unconscious resistance is huge each time, and that communicates itself as fear. So when the Bible talks of having "fear of God", this is exactly what it means to me. It's not really a fear of God, but rather a fear that the ego has of losing its control and being displaced in favour of God. Humility opens the door to receiving this power and this Grace without being burned in the process; once the ego has been removed from its self-created throne (and pride will keep it in place), the experience of such divinity is much more comfortable.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Shambala

Tara on Tour

Yesterday was an important day in the Buddhist calendar: the day of the Buddha's birth, enlightenment and passing. I spent the day at the new Buddhist centre up here in Findhorn, which I had visited a few years ago when it was still part of the Findhorn Foundation and known as Minton House. It's a very beautiful place set right on the bay with the most gorgeous views. The story of how it came to be purchased by the Shambala Trust is one of many miracles and there can be no doubting the significance of this centre now and in years to come.

There are many things I would like to write but first I must ask permission to do so.

In the meantime....

The day began with an "animal liberation" ceremony, led by the resident nun Venerable Angie. Worms were placed on the altar for prayers before being released into the earth - these worms had been bought from a fishing shop, where they were to be used as bait. It struck me, as we listened to how prayers and such activity would prevent suffering for the worms, that with the amount of violence in our world today it is very easy to ridicule such actions. To see them as tiny and unimportant in comparison to the enormous problems surrounding us. But when we are encouraged to see all beings as precious, all beings as having the same basic nature as ourselves, small acts of kindness become shining examples of a way of being that cuts the root of violence and restores peace and harmony to our minds and to the world around us. It also brings joy and hope, positive optimism, to realise that we can make a difference - every day, in anything we turn out attention to, and that this is the real revolution and change humanity is moving towards.

After the children had released the worms in a safe space, we were told that the oystercatchers had just hatched and the little chicks needed to be helped to safety by the sea. The adults had laid their eggs on a nest in the driveway - bizarrely - and were a bit distressed by our moving the 3 little birds. But it was necessary for them to be able to reach the sea, which they apparently did later that day.

Prayers continued later in the afternoon with a long Medicine Buddha puja, followed by the 21 Praises to Tara. The day concluded with Gordon leading a Tibetan Gong and Bowl meditation: huge gongs and several bowls whose sound vibrate and resonate to different tones and notes. It was a powerful experience - after a while the body seems to disappear and all you feel is the sound pulsing through the empty space that was once the body. I felt a bit sick at one point and i think that was just a reflection of what was happening and of the intensity - they can remove blocks apparently and bring healing and profound shits in awareness. I believe it!

I am off today to Pluscarden Abbey near Elgin.... the most northerly Benedictine monastery in the world, where the Divine Office is still sung in Gregorian Chant. Wonderful!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Findhorn


Tara on Tour

Leaving Skye on Thursday, Emma and I planned to spend the night in Glen Affric, but a road accident blocked the road between Fort Augustus and our destination so we were obliged to drive up the eastern side of Loch Ness and head straight into Inverness. Loch Ness lies along what looks like a geological fault line cutting across the north-west of Scotland - it's an eerie loch, there's no doubt. The depth of the waters give it a dark, slightly sinister appearance and its sheer size means that the waters get really quite choppy when the wind stirs.

Our journey was heading to Findhorn anyway, so we decided to bring it forward - and arrived late afternoon in what felt like the midst of a heatwave. Back to camping - and an altogether different experiece this time!

Findhorn is a fascinating place and very much somewhere to take notice of when it comes to ways in which our future might be safeguarded on this planet. It began some 40 years ago whe 3 people - Eileen and Peter Caddy and Dorothy Maclean - were guided to come and live in this part of the world. For 6 years they shared a caravan and committed themselves to a simple, spiritually-focussed life where their daily meditations would give clear and specific instructions towards realising their vision. This vision led to what is now an international community, world-renowned, and ever-innovative in ways of developing practical and ecological ways of grounding spiritual ideals in the everyday way in which we live. Thousands of volunteers have lent skills and time over the years, in particular towards the building projects -- and the buildings that are here today are astounding in their integration of ecological design and aesthetic beauty. There are straw-bale homes, homes built from huge whisky barrels, chalets with turf rooves - in the Field of Dreams, all the homes are built to a particular standard where insulation is ultra-efficient, solar panels are the norm and water systems feed into the community sewerage system which uses plants and natural filtration for decomposition and purification. All the electricity for the community is provided by 3 wind turbines.

It's an inspiring place - all the more so because it is one of the first of its kind. Ecovillages are springing up all over the world now and together with their emphasis on social/cultural harmony, spiritual practice, ethical business incentives and ecological design are fast becoming the "way of the future". They offer us a sustainable way of living on the earth, and with each other, and really do seem to offer a way of life that is peaceful, harmonious, creative and enriching.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

The Quiraing


Tara on Tour

Emma and I set off on Sunday 3rd June for the next leg of the journey. I'm on the road now, having packed up my things and left The Salisbury Centre. Travelling this first week with Emma wasn't scheduled, but since she'd taken a week's holiday and was planning to go to the same part of Scotland at exactly the same time, we realised it couldn't be coincidence and decided to travel together.

After a long, cold Spring, the warm sunny weather we've had since we left is very welcome. And there are few places more beautiful than Scotland in the sunshine. Heading north up the A82, we drove through Callander, Crianlarich, stopping for a cup of tea brewed on the stove by a small loch before reaching Fort William in the late afternoon. Turning west, we drove towards Mallaig where we would take the ferry the following morning for the Isle of Eigg. We'd been told to stay in Arisaig, 3 miles short of Mallaig - a real beauty spot with white sands and a hint of the Caribbean. What we'd failed to appreciate was the reason Scotland is not, nor ever will be, overpopulated.....but as we arrived at our campsite and prepared to erect the tent that had still not been out of its bag, the fog became the least of our problems as the dreaded midge homed in on its unsuspecting prey. The entire population of west Scotland's midges in fact. Everyone else was inside. We screamed, swotted, ran up and down and initiated a tribal dance to deflect the enemy's advances as we pitched our home for the night. Diving into the sleeping quarters as soon as they were up, we were then trapped, not daring to emerge again until the following morning. Emma, in her wisdom, had brought the only midge repellent known to protect even a soldier on exercise on the west coast - Avon's Skin So Soft. The cosmetic body oil is so wonderfully toxic that, as well as giving me asthma, it stopped the midge from feasting on succulent flesh and I awoke with only 3 bites. Passing a less fortunate woman in the showers, I realised the midge shows no mercy and Avon have done the world a favour.

The next morning, the fog took some time to clear but when it did, we were rewarded with stunning views of the Small Isles and Skye - and a spot of yoga down by the sea on those brilliant velveteen white sands. We'd decided Eigg was no longer the place to go - it was Skye.

We took the ferry from Mallaig to Armadale and headed up to the north-east of Skye, along the Trotternish Peninsula in the direction of Staffin.

Little did I know how skillfully Tara was leading us.

Beyone Portree, the Trotternish Peninsula begins, marked dramatically by a rock formation known as The Old Man of Storr. Our hostel (forget camping) was north of Staffin, in a village called Floddigarry, directly opposite the Quiaraing - a well-known destination for hikers. Our hostel was an absolute jewel: once part of the 4star hotel next door, our views were worth at least £100 pppn.

I'd been to the Quiraing before - and had had one of those strange experiences of being 'transported' to another time and place - so I knew it was a special place. J.R. Tolkein visited Skye as a child and it's easy to see how such a landscape might have inspired the world that he created in Lord of the Rings.

What I didn't know was how the Quiraing had been formed. A geology student had left a copy of her thesis in the hostel, investigating the origins of today's rock formation up on the Quiraing. As I began to read it the fact we'd ended up here rather than on Eigg began to dawn on me as nothing short of a miracle.

The Trotternish Peninsula is dominated by a lava escarpment which was subject to extensive "failure" during the Quaternary period, resulting in the largest and most spectacular landslides in the British Isles. The most impressive and most dramatic of these is the Quiraing - which it seems is, to this day, still marginally unstable in places. Particularly around the Floddigarry area.

So here we were. This Tara, whose particular activity is to protect from earth-related disasters such as earthquakes, landslides, avalanches, etc had brought us to the most perfect site in the UK.

The following day we began the fairly difficult climb to the top of the Quiraing. Our appreciation of the natural beauty greatly enriched by our recent knowledge of how it evolved, and by the awareness that thousands and thousands of years were embodied in the rocks beneath our feet. A geologist's study had revealed that the face of the escarpment was made up of two dominant lava types - and that these, because they overlay a much softer Jurassic layer of clay, would have established unstable slope conditions. During the last Ice Age, glaciers flowed through this part of the world and settled here. This process, followed eventually by deglaciation, resulted in a significant weakening of the rock and a number of dramatic landslides took place.

Walking through the landscape, we were struck by the way in which nature will take a hold anywhere she can - and that life will continue at the first opportunity. The most delicate of flowers grew in obscure, remote and barren parts of the escarpment.

After a 2-mile walk, our path suddenly ascended steeply and we scrambled up along the path (Emma like a mountain goat, myself an urban chick). We were heading for the Table, the very top of the Quiraing at a height of nearly 600metres. We were pretty much alone by this point, and the silence was eerie - simply us and the ravens, and a rather wild wind. Reaching this magnificent green lawn on top of a mountain was a bit like finding paradise. Tara was placed in the ground close to a small stone circle, prayers were recited and our mission accomplished.